Special thanks to Dennis Tai for helping film and LadyMartel (http://www.facebook.com/LadyMartel) for post-processing! Many thanks to Kevin Qiu for letting me borrow his guitar to record the song!

Download:
320kbps MP3 (Right-click and “Save As…”)
24-bit FLAC (Right-click and “Save As…”) – for you audiophiles out there
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Free Mp3:
Download 128kbps (Right-click and “Save As…”)
Download 256kbps (Right-click and “Save As…”)
Download 320kbps (Right-click and “Save As…”)
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Hey guys,

It’s been a long time since I’ve released new material. Too long. This is a song that I wrote and recorded in one weekend as part of a music class I was taking. At the time I didn’t expect to ever release it, but I promised you all some new music, so I spent the past few days re-tracking and polishing up the song.

Almost every instrument — with the exception of drums and the guitars during the second verse — are performed by me in some way. The song is definitely not perfect, but I hope you all enjoy it for what it is. Please let me know what you think in the comments!

All the best,
Ray

——————————————————————–
Lyrics:
Wandering around,
a million miles from home.
Searching inside,
for something deep in my soul.
Hoping for a chance
to see myself again
while a part of me
disappears

[Chorus:
So let it rain
let it all wash away.
and when I'm gone
won't the world be the same?
and if I'm here
in this moment
can I let go
of the night
let it go]

They say home is where the heart is,
then did I leave my heart back home?
Trying to carry all these memories,
like a turtle and its shell.
But the thoughts I swear protect me,
divide me from the real.
and pain is all I’m after
when I hold myself too tight.

So I will watch
as a part of me
disappears

[Chorus]

I don’t know
what I’m looking for
but I only hope.
I’ll find some solace
from these words
I can’t define.
I have lost the dictionary,
and I have found.
That a part of me
disappears

[Chorus]

Let it go…..

Sweet surrender

Don’t know if I’ve shared this yet, but my family has moved from my hometown in Hoffman Estates, IL (a suburb of Chicago), to Grove City, OH (near Columbus).

This doesn’t really affect me since I spend most of my time in college, but I am home right now in my family’s new house for winter break .

Since I’m usually pretty busy during the school year, I really want to get some music work done over break. At Cornell, we have a pretty lengthy break actually (over 5 weeks). Hopefully I can get a lot done in that time, while also spending some time relaxing with family and friends.

Currently, I’m prepping a space in the house for top-notch recording quality (yay, for audiophilism!). Anyhow, I thought I’d share with you all some pics of the “studio” space. It’s pretty ghetto (or so I think).

It’s a bit hard to tell from the pictures, but basically I’ve taken a decently-sized closet and cut it in half by inserting a “wall” of cardboard boxes (something of which my family is in no shortage) in the center. On one side of the wall is the mic surrounded by six home-made acoustic panels and on the other side is a space for my laptop and audio interface.

Hope this makes someone smile.

Happy Holidays everyone !
Ray

This is my first acoustic song and it’s honestly not very well put together. I could have polished it more, but I just wanted to make a quick little song for you guys to listen to while I’m working on putting together my album this summer.

I hope you all enjoy it! Please leave your comments and thanks for listening .

——————————————————————–

Lyrics:
I could die in this moment
A satisfied man

I could hold onto this day
for the rest of my life

Oh, with you by my side
I could face the world

And even the worst of my fears
disappear
like the dust
when you’re in my eyes

and I could die in this moment
a satisfied man

’cause there’s nothing else
I want or need
to be true

Now it’s like a dream realized
so sweetly

and I can’t think of anything else
that I need

so I could die in this moment
a satisfied man

knowing your heart is mine
and mine is yours too

and as long as I know you will look back at me
lovingly

I could die in this moment
a satisfied man

a satisfied man

yea, a satisfied

a satisfied man

This is perhaps one of the darkest songs I’ve written so far. I came up with the idea in mid-summer, but didn’t have the time to finish it up until now. I spent a disgustingly large amount of time fine-tuning effects, EQs, and volumes, so I hope that this shows when you listen!

Most of my music isn’t really inspired by any particular band, but this song definitely has heavy influence from years of me loving Linkin Park. So if you like Linkin Park, I hope you like this song as well!

I present to you: “Alcatraz.” Please enjoy, and don’t forget to comment!

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Lyrics:
I’ve caged up my tears
And boxed up the bloody smears
Of a day and an age
That hardly seems real anymore
But still, the pain,
Lingers inside of me
I’ve fought away the symptoms
But the illness remains

[Chorus:
I live for the pain,
A heart filled with disdain,
I drive by the world in my
Mind
Wondering,
What has become of the smile I used to know]

Around my eyes, around my mind,
I’ve built a dam
But what I try to lock out
I only lock in
And now the inmates of my broken heart,
They flow through my veins
Eating away at the
Inside of me

[Chorus]

Is there hope for the hopelessly lost?
Is there sight for the blind?
Is there a path forged by all the footsteps
That have strayed from the road.
And where does it lead?

‘Cause I’m tired of trying
Not to feel

[Chorus]

Used to know…
used to know…
used to know…

It’s not always as easy as writing a song, but it’s a start . Hope this song can help people deal with whatever life throws their way.

Inspirational quote:
“Holding on is hard,
Letting go is harder,
Standing on solid ground
is weightless”

Enjoy! and please leave a comment!

——————————————————————–
Lyrics:
My skies have been overcast
for far too long
My mind’s been a haze
for far too many days
I’ve locked myself into
a lonely cage
And inside I know that I’m just
so afraid

[Pre-Chorus:
I'm dangling on a railing,
waiting to be saved
Too scared to look down and see
I'm already on the ground]

[Chorus:
You could hold on 'til your knuckles bleed,
you could scream and kick in a desperate plea,
you could fight through till your heart will freeze.
you could live in your mind while the world falls behind.

Or you could stare down the ghost of your chains
and walk away.]

Your self-pity
It’s quite despicable
the tears you cried over,
the misgivings of a blessed life
now look in the mirror
reach your hand through to where
the keys have always been

[Pre-Chorus]
[Chorus]

We are not slaves
to our pathways
We are not slaves
to ourselves
And there are no shackles on our wrists
it’s all in your mind

[Pre-Chorus]
[Chorus w/ alt ending (same lyrics)]

This is the kind of song a man writes when he is guilty of letting himself down…

Spent a lot of time crafting out the sound for this. I tried some really “spacey” effects, and tried to integrate some cool sound samples into the song. My epic-orchestral roots definitely bleed through in the ending of this song, which I really love how it turned out. I hope it works! Feedback is always appreciated, and I will use your comments to improve the final album version!

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Lyrics:
My broken dreams, they lay before me on the floor
What once was whole is split into these shattered shards
and now I carry on in time,
walking barefoot on the road map of my mistakes
and the glass cuts my feet, where the blood stains the carpet
and I’m carrying a debt, I can never seem to pay

[Chorus:
Time is mercy, but I don't want your pity.
Time forgives me, but I don't want to be forgiven.
I walk this road and carry on my shoulders
the weight of everything
I have destroyed]

What do you do?
when you see the light, but carry on the night
What do you do?
when you know what’s right, but can’t outfight the fight
What do you do?
When in front of you, you hold the sight
of everything that’s set in stone
the pathways where you broke your bone
taunting you light dancing moonlight

[Chorus]

The past is a brick road
My footsteps are hardened rock
And out beyond me, the crystal dew drops
whisper on the grass
I take a step now, and fight the pain of sharpened glass
and wash away
Only in my dreams

[Chorus]

I have betrayed,
I have forsaken.
Of all the pain in this world
I’ve held my hand when I could have done good
and time will forgive
but I won’t.

This is one of my personal favorites to date. A song about hope, about life, about leaving for college, and ultimately… about letting go and embracing the world.

This song is dedicated to anyone who has ever been a part of my life in any way (Including YOU, by listening to this song). Thank you .

It’s my way of saying goodbye, without saying goodbye.

I hope you guys enjoy! Free download is available, since this song is for you guys. This is still a BETA song, so please leave some feedback! Thanks!

——————————————————————–
Lyrics:
Here we are at the helm of our lives
Falling forward, outward, onward
It’s breaking dawn
Another day, another way
Can you see the new horizon?

It’s time to leave everything behind
It’s time to breathe a landscape, filled with possibilities
To claim the world that lies before our feet
To split into our separate ways

And I know that the drop may be steep
But I tell you, don’t worry, don’t worry
No one’s walking this road alone

Just lend me your ears
Listen softly to this song
And know that we’ll make the leap together
I’ll see you in the end

[Chorus: It’s time to move on
Time to let go
Time to step into the sun
It's time to claim the life, that lies beyond
It's time to spread our wings
to make new memories
Embrace the possibilities]

To everyone
To everything
To all the friends, the family
To all the memories shared
To all the hours spent
Smiling, laughing, crying
Together

This is for you
This is for you

So lend me your ears
Settle your fears
Save up your tears for another time
We’ll make this leap together

[Chorus]

I believe in second chances
In redemption
In salvation
I’ll leave behind my troubles
I’ve carried too long
Too long

So lend me your ears
Lend me your hearts
And trust we’ll make a new start

[Chorus]

And I’ll miss everyone
And I’ll miss everything
I’ll miss all the places I’ve come to know
The faces I’ve seen change and grow
I’ll miss everything it meant to me
I’ll miss everything it meant to me
I’ll miss everything you meant to me

But I’ll save up my tears
If you lend me your ears
Just for a second
Today we face the golden sun
Together apart

I hope you guys enjoy it. It’s probably one of the most depressing songs I’ve written, but I really love it.

As always, feedback is appreciated. Thanks.

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Lyrics:
[Chorus: It’s a funny place, this world of ours
And I’d probably laugh
If it didn’t feel like my heart’s been
Stomped in half]

It’s funny how
I always thought I was better than this crap
It’s funny how
It ends up being me who falls so hard he gets stuck in this trap
It’s funny how
I was never the romantic one, or the frantic one
It’s funny how
How pathetic I’ve become in these six measly weeks
It’s funny how
Before all this I could hardly remember the last time I cried

It’s a funny place, this world of ours
And I’d probably laugh
If it didn’t feel like my heart’s been
Stomped in half

It’s funny how
It can hurt so much to lose something that was never mine
It’s funny how
Being empty can feel so much heavier than being full
It’s funny how
If you want something too much, it’s just out of reach
It’s funny how
Fate decides to put 681 miles between you and I
It’s funny how
I lost it all because I cared too much

[Chorus]

If I had known what you wanted
Do you realize I would have given it all to you?
The way I started this
I took your words
And wrapped them in a silver platter
And it’s funny how
I still smile when I think of the way
you looked at me then
But ain’t it funny how
I misread everything else

I was scrambling, I was lost
I couldn’t read past your eyes
I didn’t know what to make of
You saying yes, but acting no
And ain’t it funny how
In trying to do everything right
I did everything wrong

[Chorus]

It’s funny how
I’m still sitting here
Writing songs I never want to reach your ears

It’s a funny place, this world of ours
Funny enough it almost makes you want to cry

And the crowd’s going wild with laughter
And the crowd’s going wild with laughter
And the crowd’s going wild with laughter

At this world of ours

I first want to sincerely apologize that I haven’t released any new music lately. I’ve been pretty busy with school. But now that I’ve graduated from high school, I’m going to have plenty of free time to work on new music over the summer!

Hopefully I can finish a new album, or perhaps just an EP before I head off to college!

Anyhow, this new song is something completely new and different for me. It is the first song I’m publishing that has vocals in it. And I had a lot of fun experimenting with vocal effects and overlaying my voice (hopefully I didn’t overdo it!). To be honest, this could probably be classified as kind of a soft/alternative rock-ish song. But for those of you who are fans of my instrumental stuff, don’t worry! I plan to continue making instrumental/orchestral pieces also. This is just me trying to expand my musical horizons (plus, I love singing).

Lastly, I put a lot of passion into this song. It is more personally significant to me than anything else I’ve written before. I really hope that all of my emotions come through in this song.

——————————————————————–

Note: This is still a BETA version of the song. My compulsive self will probably change it a bit before publishing a final album version. As such, I welcome all feedback! If you have any suggestions for improvement, I’m open to hearing them and just might use them .

Questions for you:
1. Could you tell what I was singing before reading the lyrics?
2. Do you think the section from 5:10 – 5:16 (the bit between the last chorus and the alternate chorus where I narrate “can you spin time in reverse”) is a good addition, or does it seem out of place?
3. Do you think the vocal overlays are overdone?
4. General thoughts!

Thanks for listening , and please leave a comment!
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Lyrics:
I was young
I was foolish
I was blind
I was blinded by you
And I lost myself
In a sea of desire
Someone could have told me to be patient
Why wasn’t I?

[Chorus:
Why'd I have to do everything, everything, everything wrong?
Why couldn't I be the one who was strong?
Why'd I have to choose to push you away?
Why'd I have to lose everything, everything I never had anyway?]

It’s times like these I feel like my life can never move on
You tell me to forget, but it’s not that easy
I’m searching for a switch to shut out these thoughts
But I can never forgive myself for what I’ve done
Now I just want to cry away all these tears
So you will never have to see my distorted face

[Chorus]

Now it seems my life is running
I can’t slow down
As soon as I’m alone
It all knocks me to the ground
I close my eyes and try to sleep
But I’m already drowning, in regret
And tell me, have you ever tried to sleep while underwater?

[Chorus]

Tell me did you ever even want this to work?
The number of times you looked at me
I can count them on one hand
But still
I was the one who had the stake in all this
I should have been stronger
Put up with everything for longer
And I need to know now, could this have ever worked?
Did I push us apart,
Or did you write me off from the very start?

[Chorus]

[Narration:
Tell me, can you spin time in reverse?]

[Alternate Chorus:
I tell you,
You were everything, everything, everything to my childish mind.
You were everything, everything, everything that seemed too good to be mine.
And you're still everything I cannot climb past.
And I'm trying to take back everything, but I can't undo anything, anything, anything.]

(No, no…)
I can’t forget,
everything.